Fertility Counseling
Fertility and Reproductive Therapy in NYC, Hoboken, Montclair, and Online
Individual and couples counseling for infertility, pregnancy loss, and the emotional impact of fertility treatment. In-person in NYC, Hoboken, and Montclair, or online.
Most of the people I work with in fertility counseling are not people who are falling apart; they are people who are managing an enormous amount, quietly, while still showing up for work, for their partner, for everyone else in their life. What doesn't show on the outside is the weight of it: the appointments, early morning monitoring, the waiting, the grief that has nowhere clear to go because you're grieving someone you haven't met yet. If you've smiled through a baby shower while counting down the hours until your next blood draw, you know exactly the split I mean.
What Your Experience May Look Like…
Fertility struggles show up differently for everyone, but most people don't fully realize how many parts of their life it's touching until they're sitting across from someone who actually asks. It's rarely just the medical piece. It's the anxiety that creeps in around every appointment, the grief that doesn't have anywhere clear to go, and the quiet distance that can grow in a relationship even when you're going through it together. Common experiences include:
Anxiety or intrusive worry that cycles with every appointment, test result, or two-week wait
Grief after a miscarriage, failed transfer, or diagnosis that changed the plan you thought you had
Strain in your relationship, such as different coping styles, sex that's become scheduled, resentment neither of you wants to name
Isolation from friends or family who are pregnant, or who don't understand what you're going through
A loss of identity, feeling like your entire life has narrowed down to "trying"
Difficulty making decisions about next steps: another round, a different protocol, stopping altogether
Resentment toward pregnant friends, family members, or strangers, followed by guilt for feeling that way
Anger at your own body for not doing what it's "supposed" to do
Financial stress from the cost of treatment, and the pressure that comes with every cycle feeling like it has to work
Compulsively researching, tracking symptoms, or checking forums and communities looking for answers no one can actually give you
Feeling like you've lost your sense of self outside of being "someone trying to get pregnant"
Avoiding social situations — baby showers, family events, even certain friends — because the emotional cost feels too high
How I Actually Work
I use evidence-based approaches, including CBT and ACT, to help manage the acute anxiety, grief, and decision fatigue that come with fertility treatment. Alongside that, I bring a trauma-informed, medically literate understanding of what you're actually going through clinically, so you're not spending session time explaining IUI versus IVF versus a frozen transfer to someone who doesn't already know. I also bring personal understanding of what this journey involves, which shapes how I show up in this work.
Fertility struggles also touch something deeper than the immediate stress: your relationship to your body, to control, to being taken care of. We address both: the practical tools to get you through this cycle, this appointment, this week, and the deeper work of understanding how this experience is landing on you as a whole person, not just a patient.
What You Can Expect in Therapy
We start with a full picture of where you are medically and emotionally — where you are in treatment, what you've already been through, and how it's currently affecting you day to day. From there, we figure out together what actually needs the most attention right now, whether that's the acute anxiety around an upcoming appointment or the grief that's been building quietly for months.
Sessions combine CBT and ACT for practical, in-the-moment coping managing anxiety before a transfer, tolerating a two-week wait, making a decision about next steps without spiraling - with real space to grieve what needs grieving, on its own timeline, without being rushed toward "moving on." We also look at the interpersonal and relational parts: how you and your partner are each coping, where you're drifting apart or holding it together differently, and how to stay connected instead of managing this separately. And we talk about your relationship to yourself throughout it: your body, your sense of control, what this experience is doing to how you see yourself outside of "someone trying to get pregnant."